Olena Lemderska

This year started for me in February, so there will always be only 11 months in it: nothing happened before and I don’t know how, what will ever happen later.

I take pictures just to survive. One month - one photo. One picture, as a reflection of one month of 2022. Every month is different, but they all have one thing in common - pain and fear. Now they are with me forever - I know that. I need to learn to live with them. I look at the world through the viewfinder window of my camera. This tiny window is like a protective screen between me and the world, which is much easier to see. I just take pictures every day (as much as possible) and sometimes, I really do get a little better.

0. Where to start? This is my self-portrait "before" The countdown has begun...
1. February. I'm trying to see something in the darkness in order to understand: how is this possible? I still don't have an answer...
2. March. Naked, broken - holding on...
3. April. BUCH...
4. May. Everything that had any meaning before is now just an indistinct image.
5. June. Friends. So far. I'm afraid to forget them, I'm afraid that their images will be erased over time.
6. July. The wind in the leaves, the smells and sounds of summer - everything is fraught with danger. Look at the color of the sky...
7. August. Golden August evening: I hide behind him, but I know that soon the night will again expose my fears.
8. September. Its bright, ripe result. Inhaling the smell of the autumn garden, for a moment, only for a moment, it seems that all this is just a terrible and stupid dream.
9. October. Again loss, parting. Long goodbyes instead of meetings.
10. November. Like us, they will stay here forever...
11. December. We are waiting... We are waiting for good news...

Everything around, the world and our life in it consists of moments. Sometimes they pass so quickly that it is impossible to see or feel them. That's why I love looking at static images. I collect fragments like pieces of the whole world: strange, beautiful and not so, sometimes absurd or even scary. From these fragments, I can assemble my own world, another, not like the one that surrounds me. Why am I doing this? Perhaps because I feel fear and insecurity ... Perhaps because I do not understand: who are we, why and for what? Or maybe because we are all reflected in these fragments?

Others say: "That's what I want to tell the world!" And I want to hear what the world has to tell me…

Everything around, the world and our life in it consists of moments. Sometimes they pass so quickly that it is impossible to see or feel them. That's why I love looking at static images. I collect fragments like pieces of the whole world: strange, beautiful and not so, sometimes absurd or even scary. From these fragments, I can assemble my own world, another, not like the one that surrounds me. Why am I doing this? Perhaps because I feel fear and insecurity ... Perhaps because I do not understand: who are we, why and for what? Or maybe because we are all reflected in these fragments?

Others say: "That's what I want to tell the world!" And I want to hear what the world has to tell me…

We see them everywhere. Our background forces the brain to look for meaning in everything. But is he there? All this resembles a dream, this nervous game of the mind. Symbols, confused metaphors and random comparisons. The pursuit of all this in a dream to deal with what we face in reality.

Severed, torn nerve endings try to create new connections and give birth to new meanings. Is it in my head? But I see it all around me!

Pushing through my own vulnerability, disbelief, fragility and emotional instability, I move forward little by little. Why am I doing this? Maybe, because I feel fear and insecurity... Maybe because I don't understand: who are we, why and for what?

So many questions and so few answers... But we still have to ask questions, even if we can't find the answers. Because questions are always more important...

Fairy tales, legends, epics, tales, short stories, fantastic stories and novels and, of course, myths...

Throughout the history of his existence, man invents and creates other worlds. We not only described these worlds in all the details, but also populated them with strange and whimsical creatures. We love and fear them: as if they were real.

Sometimes, I think that everything we imagine has to live somewhere. In the black corners and cracks of old houses, in the thickets of an abandoned garden, in the dark depths of cat fur? Somewhere on the border of light and shadow, or just in our dreams? And what is left of the fairy tale after it has been told?

That is why the simplest and most familiar things look strange, even frightening. They are right next to each other, in a strange world that can sometimes be seen through the viewfinder of a camera. Another moment and it seems that we will be able to take a step behind the mirror... But no... Everything disappeared again like a mirage, like a morgan's veil.

But nothing. They are waiting. Patiently waiting for us to finally notice them.